Philosophy of Passing Over the Double Yellow

Considering the concept that one's perception of reality is based on one's perception of him/herself, it makes me wonder if I can change my reality by changing my view of myself.

What the #$*! Do We Know!? is an interesting documentary I watched the other night on Netflix. It's largely based on the teachings of Ramtha (JZ Knight). I don't know much about Ramtha, but I always find it entertaining to exercise concepts.

When you consider that emotions are just hormones released by the brain into our blood system, and subsequently absorbed into our cells, our cells become conditioned to receiving these hormones. That is, it's a chemical addiction that our body learns to crave. As cells divide, newer cells are more adapted to capturing these hormones.

The more time you spend feeling guilty, the more your body craves the feeling of guilt. Hence, that becomes your perception of reality. Everything you see, hear, touch, is all filtered by your body's need to feel guilty.

As I'm riding my motorcycle along a twisty road through hillsides and canyons, my eyes pick up a million pieces of information. But I may only perceive 20 pieces at any given second. For one, moving at an average of 50mph limits my ability to perceive, but two, how I see myself as an individual filters what I perceive.

I think about passing a slower-moving car in front of me. But I take notice of the double-yellow line and think twice about doing so. I look in my rear view mirror and see no cops. I look ahead and I see no on-coming cars. I take notice of upcoming curves and try to assess the safety of passing this guy.

Finally, I pull the trigger, twist the throttle and make my pass. All the while, I'm looking ahead down the road for any oncoming vehicles, until I move back into my lane.

Then I ease off on the throttle, and look in my rear view mirror at the guy I just passed, just in case he's pissed at me.

For me, being a law-abiding citizen is important, though not always the highest priority. Intellectually, I don't want trouble with the law. But emotionally, I find it alluring.  In the earlier part of my childhood, I went through a lot of physical abuse at the hands of my mother.  I didn't want my mother to beat me, but I grew up in a pattern of guilt and punishment.  My body became conditioned towards wanting this fix.

Hence, it all explains why I took notice of that double-yellow line.  I see it as an opportunity.

Someone else who sees himself as more important, who doesn't care about confrontation, and who may not even recognize boundaries, probably won't even know there is a double-yellow line there. All he may see is that there is someone in his way, and that someone is an "idiot" who needs to be laid to waste.

Had I not passed over the double yellow, I would have gotten to my destination a little bit more late, but I would've felt on edge, and more than likely would seek to get my fix some other way.

And if you ask Sash about this, she'll tell you that feelings of guilt can only accumulate for so long until the need for punishment takes over. At that point, what my eyes and ears perceive become filtered, yet again, looking to push her over the edge, just as I used to do with my mother.

So what about the motorcycle rider who decides to remain behind the slow-moving car? What's their hangup? Maybe he or she wants to feel meager, wants to feel like a sheep? Maybe these people seek out other slow-moving vehicles just so that they can remain stuck behind them?

Anyway, it's an interesting documentary with interesting ideas.